Life is not a spectator sport. 
I feel like that’s all I do 
Feel like I’m just on the outside looking in 
Everyone is living their lives 

I’m living to die 
Something needs to change 

No one can keep this up 
Only watching 
They must have a cheat code 

A manual of some kind 

Something needs to change 
People, I can’t live my life alone 
End up by myself 
Curled up in the fetal position 
Tormented by my past inadequacies 
Alone 
To find there is nothing 
On the other side 
Really? 

  
Something needs to change 
People, I can’t live my life alone 
Only living to make others happy 
Rarely putting myself first 
To find there is nothing 

Acrostic from my as yet incomplete and unpublished poetry book. Drawing by me.